R U OK

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It’s my wedding anniversary around this time of year.  Sadly, I won’t be celebrating another year of  being committed to my wedding vows.  It’s ironic that R U OK day is around this time.

I’ve had people asking me am I ok for several years now.  My answer was always to smile, shine brightly and say yes…wow I’m so wonderful.  I’ve got such amazing children, I’m surrounded by people who love me and are loyal to my friendship, I’m powering on through the world of Autism and I’ve got an amazing business.  I am ok.

I’m not totally sure yet whether it was pride that made me pretend, or whether it was denial or the “peacemaking cycle”  (previously called the honeymoon cycle) that was hindering me from answering and saying, no I am not ok.  I have been so strong in holding onto me that I actually lost who I was to a world of Domestic Violence which is not ok.

R u ok day is an important day to bring recognition to many relevant issues in our society least of all checking in on each other so that we can attempt to bring back to our dislocated world a sense of “village” where we share in conversation about life and what is happening for each other.

If you are being asked, r u ok, think about you answer.  Those people close to you are asking because they love you, or they at the very least care about what is happening to you.

If you are asking the question R U OK…..keep asking, don’t stop no matter what the answer is.

I am a white educated middle class women, that stayed.  Don’t ask women why they stay…instead ask R U OK and keep asking because there may come a day when a confident, passionate woman who believes she has the world at her feet may answer you with… no I’m not ok, but I will be with your love and support.